state of the union

My union, that is.

As you may or may not know, Mike and I have been engaged for about a year and a half now. We had been putting off actually getting married right away for many different reasons. Mostly monetary reasons, but also because we were living with Aaron and his mother. It seemed odd to get married while we were renting a room in someone else's house. After I got my car paid off we had to move to our own place, so I just assumed we'd never have the money to do it and we'd have to just get married at the court house. Which made me sad. The first time I got married was at the courthouse with only 4 people presents, and none of them were my family members.

I wanted a nice wedding and reception with my friends and family and a cake and a dress. Nothing fancy, just a nice celebration. After a discussion with a couple of our married friends, I realized that a big fancy wedding wasn't necessary. But also that it didn't have to just be a justice of the peace thing like I had the first go round. So Mike and I decided we were going to do what we could to have a decent little wedding, with in our budget. And we figured we might as well do it during my vacation which I had already set aside for the 1st week in November. Seeing as though we both love Halloween, we figured it would be fun to just do it then. So, as it stands, we'll be married in a little less than 5 months.

We really didn't have any extra money to speak of, nor do either of our parents. So I decided to pull some money out of my 401k account as a loan. I'm not retiring any time soon, so I'm not really concerned about pulling a little money out to start our lives together. It's not a lot, at all. Just enough to get things done really. Many of my friends have offered to help here and there and have given me tips on doing many things myself..such as decorations and invitations and what not.

Right now my main concern is finding a venue and getting food figured out. Right now we're leaning towards doing it at the Horseshoe Casino in Elizabeth (formerly Caesar's Indiana.) They actually don't charge for renting their room, but you have to have at least $500 worth of food and drink. And you can have a cash bar as well but have to pay a little extra if your guests don't order $600 worth of drinks. We're only having about 35 people on hand, so I don't know if that'll happen. But most places charge about the same amount for a cash bar so it's not a huge deal. I believe they also provide linens and center pieces. The only thing you have to do is get your own flowers and a DJ if need be. Since it'll be halloween I'll probably go with pumpkins and whatever seasonal flowers I can find, which shouldn't be too expensive. I can do that on my own certainly.

We won't get a DJ because it'll probably be over our budget, but we should be able to make our own playlist on our computer as long as they have a sound system we can use. I guess this will be information we can get when we go to look at the place soon.

We plan on having a costume-themed wedding. Mike and I, plus our maid of honor and best man will wear masquerade type outfits. Elegant but fun, and nothing too over the top. We'll also invite our guests to dress up if they so choose. That's not written in stone of course, but it's an idea. Either way, my mother will be making my dress for me. Mike will have to rent a tux or something. I think I'm going to go with black. I've never been one for white. I'm sure I can gather up a few friends to help me with decorations and colors and what not.

I haven't asked yet, but I think my aunt will be able to make a cake for me. She's always making cakes for someone, so I'm hoping she can make something for me. I'd really like a fancy cake with fondant and stuff like you see on all of those cake shows on tv, but I don't think she does stuff like that. Which is ok. That stuff can be expensive. A friend of ours actually does cakes professionally but that's more money we'll have to shell out, even if she were to give us a discount (I don't know her that well, so I wouldn't expect her to do such a thing, nor would I ask.) We'll see.

As far as the actual wedding goes, we had asked our friend Joe to get ordained and marry us right after we first got engaged. He's still down for it, so all we have to do is get that going online and we should be set. I'd much rather have him marry us than some person I don't know. He has a great personality and everyone just loves him, so I think it'll go over well.

Mike plans on making our invitations on the computer since he's good with that sort of stuff. We'll just take them to kinkos or something and have them print them off. I got a nice little gift card for shutterfly.com from Target when we set up our registry, so that would cover either bridal shower invitations or Save the Date cards. I don't know if I'll order those or just buy some cheap ones at the store or what. My friend Tara has been hounding me to do engagement photos for ages now, so we're going to get around to doing that really soon since it's pretty outside and all. She recently started a photography company on her own and needs the advertising. So she said she'd do them for free as long as she could use our photos to advertise. Which is very generous of her. I don't know if she's done any weddings, but she does do the Easter and Christmas photos at the mall, lol. At any rate, I plan on using those photos for either invitations or save the date cards or something.

I haven't yet asked her how much she'd charge to actually photograph our wedding, though I plan on doing that soon. Another friend of mine who is also a photographer offered to do our wedding for $200 which is apparently less than most photographers charge. (I know nothing about these things, obviously) I reckon I will go with whoever is cheaper. I hate to choose between two friends, but I'm not rolling in money so I have to do what is best for my wallet.

Speaking of which, we're definitely having to cut down on the amount of people we're going to invite. Sure, right now I could make a list of probably 100 people I could invite. But that would be expensive. So I've got it down to close friends and family that I don't hate. lol. I hate to be that way, but what can I do? It's looking like 35 people right now, though some of the food at Horseshoe feeds 50, so we might be able to add in a few more people I'd feel bad leaving out. I guess we'll have to see.

This weekend I think Mike and I are going to go down to Horseshoe and eat the buffet since it's so legendary and all, and see if we can take a look at their hall rental and what not. I was hoping they'd let us sample the food on the menu, but I won't hold my breath. All I know is that they have sushi on the buffet, and that's ok with me. (Have I mentioned how much I love sushi?)

Oh, in other wedding related news, my dear friends Ryane and Shannon are throwing me a bridal shower! I'm so slow with this stuff, I didn't even think about that. Apparently you eat and play games and get presents....or something to that effect. To be fair, I've been to a bridal shower but that was like 8 years ago so I hardly remember what it entailed. I was in a room with a bunch of people I didn't know, so I was mostly uncomfortable. I'll have to get back with them to get it all hammered out of course, but so far we know it'll be held at Ryane's house some time in late September. Fun! I like parties, but I also feel guilty about them doing this for me. Is this a normal thing that your friends do for you when you get married? I'm certainly no bridezilla!

I am feeling good about the way things are shaping up, but I know that there will be many speed bumps along the way. As is customary with not only wedding-planning, but with any sort of planning that I'm ever involved with. Luckily I have some really amazing friends who have been more than helpful already so far.

Can you have two maids of honor? lol. I think I'll have to make that a rule, because I can't choose!

anywho, that's the state of our soon-to-be matrimonial union.

and now I get to acclimate myself to being Tiffany Tomes, and hopefully get used to a life time of people mispronouncing my name. (It's TOMS, the E is silent..just a tip) I've lived a childhood with a difficult to pronounce last name, then married a man with a ridiculous super German last name that was also too difficult for most to pronounce....so I guess I'll get used to it real quick.

and laughing at the fact that my initials will soon be TAT. Classy!

Oh well, I'm looking forward to whatever this crazy thing brings. And am very much happy to be Mike's wife :)